I’m so afraid of failing at work. Of not being good enough.
When I’m struggling with fear, I’m a smaller version of myself. I am less creative, joyful, connected, and productive.
The thing is fear can be so hard to work with.
I typically oscillate between avoidance (video games, TV shows, indulgent weekends) and control (micro-managing, over-optimizing). These never lead to long-lasting improvements though.
So how do we work with fear more productively?
I’m reminded of this great Rumi quote, The Guest House:
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
Fear isn’t to be avoided but to be recognized and accepted. (My favorite framework on this is RAIN — recognize, accept, investigate, and nourish — by Tara Brach.)
When we can give fear the space it needs, we can heal ourselves.
My goal is no longer: “How do get I rid of this crappy feeling?” Instead, I ask “How can I accept you and become at ease with you?”
Beautiful thought.! All of us have fears of different kinds but never acknowledge…you’ve taught me how to acknowledge it…I love your last million dollar question❣️