Having the courage to make things uncomfortable
Many of us struggle with making someone feel uncomfortable even when it's the right thing to do. We have built an identity around being a good person who is agreeable, easy to work with, and puts others before himself. And much of the time that works in our favor. But often times it doesn't.
Like when an acquaintance wants to shake your hand and you choose to shake hands (even though you're living with your grandparents at home).
Or when you choose to go for dinner with your family even though you've been needing alone time.
Or when you tell your friend how much you love their business idea when you actually don't.
The sad ironic truth is that while we are putting up an appearance of being a good person, we are actually doing the opposite in these situations. The selfless thing to do is to have the courage to deal with the discomfort.
This highlights one of the dangers of having traits that we identify with vs. having traits that we've actually cultivated. Identifying is easier than cultivating and many times it works; but as seen here, it can lead to the opposite outcomes. It's on us to decide what are the traits we really want to cultivate and which are the ones where we are ready to accept these occasional false outcomes.