Taking others for granted

Why do we take our closest friends and family for granted?

Why is it that we are the least kind to the people we are closest to? It doesn’t really make sense.

Underneath the hood, I think it has to do with a lack of self-compassion.

We see our closest friends and family as an extension of ourselves.

How we speak to ourselves starts to become how we speak to our loved ones. The line between self and loved ones starts to blur.

And for many of us, our inner voice is pretty crappy. 

“How could you make that mistake again?” 

“That wasn’t actually that impressive.”

“Get your act together!”

It’s toxic.

We hold our loved ones, including ourselves, to a bar that’s often unreasonable and unfair.

This insight has been powerful in my own relationships. 

Instead of fixing issues by just trying to be nicer to others, I instead ask: am I being kind to myself first? If not, there’s likely some work to be done there before I can open up that space for others.